beauty – MeeshyD

Dream a Little Dream for Me

February 29, 2020

What a paradox. We live in hustle culture, yet no one shares what they’re hustling for until it happens. The dream can’t have a voice until it’s come true, held secretly in the heart away from prying eyes until, suddenly, it springs forth as a perfectly packaged ‘after’.

I don’t think or live like that. My dreams are my constant companion. I want to talk about them, let them out into the light of day so that if they happen someday, you won’t feel like it was effortless. You’ll see the struggle and strain and self-belief that took time to develop and bring to fruition.

Here are the little dreams I hold in my heart:

To determine the cadence of my days. To move in the world according to my own clock, not the clock of a boss who cares that my body is in a seat looking busy.
To write books upon books upon books upon blogs and blogs. There are so many held in my soul waiting to be shared.
To work with my dogs by my side always.
To live a life of simplicity and peace. Good food, joyful and abundant movement, adequate sleep, space to think and read and go inward and to connect intimately with the humans I love in a way where they feel heard and supported and loved.
To experience and witness the world in all its lustre and beauty.
To trust deeply in the abundance of the universe. To release my fear around money and to live in full financial freedom.

What about you? What is your little dream? Please let me be your witness and cheerleader.

adventure, beauty, Uncategorized, wedding

Our Save the Dates!

January 21, 2020

Can I be a wee bit self-indulgent here and share our Save the Dates? What’s that you say? This entire blog is the very definition of self-indulgence? Well, don’t mind if I do, then.

The fact that we actually sent out our Save the Dates is a miracle in and of itself since I’ve had multiple freak-outs over the past few months about getting married again, which I’ve already covered in this space. I’m proud of myself moving forward despite the fear, so actually sending out these little postcards was a big step for us. We went with Minted for the production, which was easy peasy since we were able to use a pre-selected design that I felt was premium, minimal and fully in line with what we wanted to execute. They have a designer check your print prior to production and I’m annoyed that the designer didn’t flag the fact that Keith was going to basically disappear once our photo was applied to the paper stock I selected. Surely they could’ve edited the photo somehow to make his black skin look as beautiful when printed as it did in the digital photo we used? I almost sent them back when they printed, but we decided to go ahead and move forward.

The memory of when we took these photos this day on the beach will stick with me forever. I was still pretty sick with my vertigo on this trip, but I had a vision. I was captivated by this photo that Gabi Fresh shared on her instagram and was determined to recreate it. I ordered a $200 sequined dress from Asos, packed up our little tripod and got Keith fully on board with the plan. When we were in Cabo, we kept putting off taking the photo until we only had one or two sunsets left. Once we finally decided to take the photo, we got decked out in our room. When I put on the dress, it seriously weighed about twenty pounds! It was so heavy. We were running late getting ready, so we basically had to sprint down to the beach to make it in time for the sunset. Everyone in the resort was looking at me because I was basically a disco ball running through the resort trying not to sweat all of my makeup off. When we got to the beach, we had initially planned to take the photo under the arch where we’ll get married, but they had it all set up already for a candlelight couples dinner, so we had to reassess. I set up the shot and then we kept setting the self timer and then sprinting to get to the shot before the sun went down. Eventually, a nice man came over and offered to take our photo, but we had already clinched the photo above. It was so epic. When Keith and I returned to our room, we were seriously concerned because we were sweating profusely due to the stress of getting the shot (plus my heavy disco ball dress!). We had to just lay naked in the air conditioning for a bit to regroup.

I love that man so much for being so supportive of my crazy ideas. I love that we have this beautiful photo and this sweet memory to attach to our little Save the Date cards. Everything from getting the shot to gathering the addresses to sitting in the post office adding up to 4 stamps to each card to get to the 35 cents we needed for postage is a wonderful memory for me, one that I hope to cherish forever.

When I think of what I want to accomplish with this blog, the first thing I want to do is use this space to gather up all of the sweet memories I have of my beautiful life. I hope that by doing so, I’m able to encourage you all to pause and appreciate all of the special moments in your own life. Life really is beautiful if we take the time to pay attention. Our society is so focused on the bad times, but each of us has little miracles and moments of joy in the everyday. Sometimes I think the best thing I can do to improve the world is to always search, find and share the good and the beautiful.

What’s a beautiful memory you never want to forget? Please feel free to share here in this space. 🙂

adventure, beauty, deep thoughts

Understanding Abundance

December 4, 2019

I’m writing again. I set out to write in this blog twice a day, five days a week for an entire month. I promised myself that I would pre-schedule the posts the Sunday before so that I would keep my commitment.

This is my last pre-written post of this week. Half way through a promise to myself. 20 posts total already. I’m so proud of myself.

It feels so good to be writing again. I feel a palpable energy flowing through my body that I haven’t felt in a long time. I love it.

And yet, it’s hard.

So hard.

I was supposed to be writing this final post as a ‘gift guide for teenagers’. That’s what my calendar said I needed to write about.

I could do it. I could bang out that post right now, but I’m just not feeling it. I’m feeling uncomfortable writing about so much ‘stuff’ in this space. I like stuff, sure. But I know stuff is just one little tiny aspect of me and, even though I want this space to make money, I also want to be proud of it. I feel compelled to share my actual, real life and not just some polished version of my life. That’s a lot harder to do than to write fluffy pieces about products I love, but it’s something I feel is really important.

So, what’s real for me right now?

I’m in the midst of a 7 week spiritual course. I don’t know if you believe in all of this spiritual stuff. I’m not even sure I believe in all of it, but I feel my heart seeking and as I seek, I feel myself growing. I know that something is out there and also inside of me, something I feel innately connected to in a really deep way. This week, the course was about abundance. Not money abundance, though that’s part of it. It’s about the abundance we are all born into, this human journey that is filled with more beauty, connection, resources than we could fathom. Abundance is the hardest lesson for me to learn. I have a deep resistance to believing in abundance. I cling to this deep seated belief that there is a small pie for all of us to fight over and that I am going to have to work harder than anyone else to get even a sliver of it. In fact, that’s how I’d describe my life. Hard work after hard work after hard work. I’m so, so tired. I see the things I want and they seem impossible. I see the things I have and it feels exhausting just to maintain them. To the right of my computer, I have a To Do list that I wrote up to accomplish today. It has 20 items on it. I’ve been working for hours and I’ve managed to check off 7 of them. The rest just stare back at me and I continue to slog along.

One of the things I needed to do today was take an abundance walk. It’s part of the spiritual course. It was just 15 minutes. The call was to bless everything you saw whether you felt it or not. Dutifully but quite begrudgingly, I took the walk with my dog Jax. Immediately, we saw people with their car broken down on the side of the road and a friendly neighbor helping them out. I blessed them. I saw a crowd outside our favorite liquor store around the corner. I blessed them. A neighbor was deep in the task of popping the amazon packing bubbles and recycling her cardboard on the sidewalk in front of her house. I said hello and I blessed her too, in my head of course. I’m not a total weirdo. The cold, rain-soaked air felt so good on my face. We rounded the corner and I saw the most gorgeous fall leaves on the sidewalk. I blessed them, too. As I walked and I blessed, I felt my spirit lifting.

I felt the abundance in a palpable way.

Before I knew it, I was oohing and aahing over the flowers on the sidewalk and taking pictures. I returned home and I felt so much better. So much more hopeful. I abandoned my ‘gift guide for teenagers’ and decided to share this here instead.

The reason for all my spiritual learning and seeking is my desire for Peace and Freedom. I want to feel free on this earth and I want a deep and abiding peace in my body. I want these things more than probably anything else. My walk today proved to me that they are just out there, abundantly waiting for me to grab them. Freedom doesn’t have to come in the form I think it should (being a full-time blogger) and Peace doesn’t either. Perhaps that’s the true meaning of abundance.

What is abundance for you?

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