Keith and I were already pretty much in love by the time I found out that he had kids. We met and quickly clicked and after a couple of days of seeing one another near-constantly, he told me he had kids. It was strange and surprising and I think he thought it was going to be a deal-breaker for me. I am much younger than he is and adding the kids into the equation so early – well, we just didn’t know what to think about that.
We took things very slow in the kid department. I had my own deep sadness from falling in love with an ex-boyfriends younger brother and then losing him when I lost the relationship. I didn’t want to go through that again. It was just so heartbreaking.
We’ve been dating for years now and as we’ve started building our lives together, my relationship with his boys grows deeper every single day. They live about two hours away and we see them whenever we can. At 12 and 10, they’re starting to have their own lives and independence, so we don’t see them nearly as much as we’d like.
This weekend, we went to San Francisco together to check out Fleet Week and see the Blue Angels perform. Our friend threw a party on his rooftop in the Marina and we spent a couple of vertigo-inducing hours watching the planes fly about. We took this photo and it is probably my absolute favorite.
I will be the first to admit that I am completely winging it when it comes to how I fit myself into these boys’ lives. I know I’ve messed a lot of things up and will definitely continue to do as we move forward together. But, I just love them so very much. I love seeing them grow and spending as much time with them as I possibly can. I love being able to go to their football games and talk to them about what their lives are like and seeing them grow up.
I hope that, even though I am definitely learning on the job in my role as pseudo-stepmom, that I am somehow conveying to them how much I love them and how privileged I feel to be a part of their lives. I consider it my job to make them feel like they have a bonus adult in their lives aside from their mom and dad – someone who cares about them so much and is willing to do anything to help them grow into considerate, smart, independent young men. Someone who wants to wrap them in an additional layer of love and support as they go about their long lives. A not-mom mom who loves them unconditionally.