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June 2020

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My Work from Home office

June 27, 2020

I cannot believe that picture right there is my HOME OFFICE. Who am I??? It is just so beautiful and inspiring. I have never had a dedicated working space in my entire life and it is just so transformational to have a place dedicated to work (yes) and to also making all of my writing dreams come true. After I meditate in the morning, I come downstairs to write in my blog before I kick off my work day. I light a candle and bless the space and open the window and I sit at a proper desk to share my creativity with the world as a cool breeze kisses my skin and I just couldn’t be more thankful.

But, of course, it didn’t start off like this. In fact, when I first started working down here my work colleagues on video calls told me that it looked like I was working in a bunker. They were right. It’s a tiny room downstairs off our garage and it smelled musty and unloved.

Here’s a couple of pics:

And here’s what it looks like now:

Can you believe it? I love this space so very much.

I’d like to share a bit about how we went about creating this space. I love home design but I am not a ‘designer’. I’m a total amateur with a decent eye, but I got tired of only admiring pretty spaces on the internet and believing that I couldn’t afford to create something similar for myself. I also have an important belief that I am trying to bring into my life: use what already exists if at all possible. I didn’t want to buy new furniture from Wayfair or Ikea – I wanted to give already existing furniture a second or third life. So, I scoured Facebook marketplace and Craigslist and rented a uhaul truck one day in full belief that I would figure it out on the day I had the truck. Can you believe that I got the desk for $90 and the ikea shelves for $75 dollars all in the same evening? It was so incredible to me to see it come together. We already had the twin mattress and I found someone on craigslist to deliver an old ikea frame to our house for $40. I initially wanted a chair, but we already had the bed so I tried to transform it into a daybed situation and I’m so glad I did. It’s a perfect space to meditate in the morning.

All in, I spent about $205 on the furniture plus about $70 for the truck rental. All of this furniture would’ve been closer to $450 if I purchased new and I would’ve had to spend hours putting it together. It’s a win/win/win to go used for so many reasons if you have the patience to look for it. It’s what my aunt and I call ‘hunting for treasures’.

I had the furniture and I also happened to have leftover paint from our move, so we used that up to paint the walls a lovely matte white and the trim the same color of white in a semi-gloss. We used falling snow from Behr and couldn’t be happier. Highly recommend! I use the word ‘we’, but really I should say ‘Keith’ because he’s the lovely man who did almost all of the work. I helped with the prepping and cutting in, but he rolled the walls and managed the entire painting process. He made me promise that if we move again, we’ll hire professional painters because painting our house made him never want to paint again. I don’t blame him!

With the walls ready and the furniture in place, my mom and I got to work. She is a great decorator who just so happened to be able to visit at the time I was putting my office together. We love doing projects together and she has helped me bring together my last couple of rental spaces. We went to Target while she was here and we found the curtains and basically built everything around that. I did my best to use anything I had accumulated over the years as decor, but I did spend about $250 buying the curtains, bedding, garland, pillows and some of the wall hangings. The pillows were my kryptonite. Target’s pillow selection is awesome, but you can rack up a pretty penny on pillows and that’s something I don’t really want to buy used. Anyway, I will list out my sources in the links below if you feel inspired to create a little office space of your own.

Here’s the thing: I learned so much about myself in this process of creating this space. For so long, I have believed that the things I love and desire are frivolous, wasteful and flighty compared to the things that ‘matter’. Who needs a pretty space when an old table in a bunker will do? Who cares about a basic office space made from used ikea and target goods? Why write about it?

Do you see how limiting and harmful these beliefs are? I am starting to see and to believe that the things I love matter, that sharing beauty with the world matters, that pursuing things just because they make me happy is okay. I’m starting to understand that denying my own love and happiness hurts only me and that the way of thinking that taught me that my desires are bad, unimportant or ‘frivolous’ needs to go away. I matter. You matter. and it’s okay to turn away from ways of thinking that harm us so that we can step fully into who we are meant to be.

Wow, that got deep.

But, I mean it. I want to see myself clearly and love every part of myself. I think that’s the only way I can feel free to live my life fully and in my own purpose. I want that for me and I want that for you so badly. Your desires are perfect. You deserve to live in full joy and to create what YOU love without fear. If we all felt free to live life fully and without fear, I believe we would live in a better, more just world.

This room is the embodiment of that belief and I am SO grateful for every day I get to spend here, surrounded by beauty. I wish the same for you!

Resources:

desk table top (ikea), desk trestle (ikea), bed frame (ikea), shelves (ikea), curtains (target), twin duvet cover (amazon), basket (target), velvet lumbar pillow (target), mustard yellow pillow (target), linen pillow (target)

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A Moving Checklist

June 26, 2020

Moving is such a pain in the ass, right? Whew. We just went through the pain of it and we promised ourselves that we will not move again for at least five more years. No matter how you slice it, moving will push you to your limits as a human. I should know; we’ve moved three times in the past three years.

With all those moves, I’m starting to gain competence. I have a process and a checklist that I’m excited to share. Yes, I want to write a post here to share the ULTIMATE moving guide that led to our smoothest move ever. I hope you find it helpful and I hope to record it for my own posterity so that we inevitably move again (hopefully waaaay down the road), I will have it for reference.

So, here it is:

Pre-move/Upon Signing the Lease:

  • Create a budget and then double it. This is just my experience, but it’s almost impossible to account for all of the costs of a move so I just calculate what I think it will cost and then double it. If you don’t have that kind of money, try to delay the move for a few months until you can scrape together more cash. If that’s not possible, create a budget for what you’d like to do, double it and then see if you can DIY or delay some aspects. The amount of cash you have to spend while moving is truly staggering and you need to be prepared emotionally and financially or else you are going to stay up at night stressing and have a really big hole to dig yourself out of.
  • Coordinate move-ins: If you can, try to stagger your move-in and move-out a bit when you sign your lease. Obviously, this works best for in-town moves but it can also work for long distance moves if you budget for a couple of nights in a hotel once you pack the moving truck and send it on its way. We had two weeks this move, which was potentially too long because it felt like we were moving FOREVER, but it was really nice to be able to leave our previous home and have time to close out our old home.
  • Book Movers: Super important! I used to try to get family referrals for movers, but this last move I trusted google and yelp reviews and ended up with the most efficient, professional moving crew ever: Jay’s Small Moves. I know a lot of people swing a move without movers, counting on the kindness of friends. Totally your call. Everything is a put and take in life, but for me movers are THE BEST because they are trained and competent at moving. It makes the process move SO quickly.
  • Reserve Boxes: For this last move, I rented boxes! I saw it on another blog I read and decided to try it to make our move more sustainable. We went with a company called ZippGo. It was so easy! I ordered the boxes online. You select the amount of boxes you need (we went with the three bedroom 60 boxes because we have a ton of stuff) and then they deliver them on your dedicated day. We rented for three weeks to give us plenty of time to pack and unpack. If you underestimate the number of boxes you need, they will bring you more for a fee. Once you’re done with them, they come and pick them up for free. In past moves, I have spent a LOT of time trying to gather or buy cardboard boxes. It was so much easier and time saving to use the plastic totes and I felt better about creating less waste.
  • Prep your new house: We decided to paint our house. The entire thing. The walls were dingy and the color was a terrible taupe. I knew the wall color would drive me crazy, so it was a no-brainer for us. Plus, it was so much easier to paint without our stuff in there. We had a lot of people questioning our investment in painting, especially because we did every room except two of the bathrooms that had been renovated somewhat recently. Our landlord approved it, but didn’t help us pay for anything. Obviously, we would’ve loved it if he would’ve helped us, but here’s what I’ve decided as an adult who has been renting for nearly 20 years. It’s a gift to make a place better than you found it, whether you’re renting or not. It’s a gift to yourself to make your rental a home. Taking care of yourself means doing what you need to do to make your life as comfortable as possible for you. For us, that’s a home with walls we love. Everyone has their thing.
  • Schedule your move-out walk-through: This is a note for my future self. I didn’t get around to scheduling this walk-through until the last minute which caused an unnecessary scramble and forced me to take a day of PTO to clean our old house. Get that stuff scheduled on YOUR timeline so that you’re not dependent on the mercy of someone else.
  • Pre-pack/Donate: So critical. Every box you pack early is a box you don’t have to pack late. ANYTHING you’re not using at the moment should be packed or donated. You have more enthusiasm early in the process versus later.

A couple of weeks prior to move:

  • Forward your mail: Go to USPS.com and pay the dollar to get the mail started. Be sure not to schedule delivery until you take possession of the house. Put in a separate forwarding address for every member of your home. If you’re not married, you have to do separate requests for every individual.
  • Transfer your utilities: It’s pretty awesome that most of this can be handled online and can be staggered for different due dates. Try to give yourself a bit of time to get everything set up and ready to go. Here’s a list of what we had to do in the Bay Area: trash service, internet/cable, PG&E, Water, cancel alarm, set up gardening service at the new place. Internet is super important if you have teenagers or kids in the house. They are going to lose their mind without internet for one day. Plan accordingly.
  • Eat down your pantry: get creative and eat everything up. Anything you eat is something you don’t have to pack. I also wish that I would’ve frozen a couple of meals to help us get through the last weeks without ordering so much take-out.
  • Schedule PTO: take time off work if you can. It’s so tiring to move. You’ll be so thankful for your foresight on the days after the move when you feel like you got hit by a truck.

Day of the Move:

  • Have a huddle with the family: whew, this is one I learned the hard way. I wish we would’ve all sat down and had a heart-to-heart about expectations and asks for help. We had a little drama, not going to lie. We could’ve had a smoother moving day if we were all on the same page and knew our roles.
  • Eat a good breakfast: See bullet above. The drama comes when the hanger is sharp. Take the time to eat a hearty breakfast and start the day off right.
  • Get cash: TIPS are the name of the game. Do you know how hard it is to be a mover? Talk about back breaking work. Tip handsomely. Think of a generous amount and then add an extra twenty to it. Individually tip every mover to make sure that it’s fair. You never know the interpersonal dynamics.

After the Move:

  • Unpack right away: You’re only about halfway through the process once the movers drive away. The best thing you can do for yourself is keep the momentum going and start unpacking right away. For us, renting the boxes gave us a positive incentive to unpack quickly to save money by returning them early. I love unpacking. It’s my favorite part of the process. Get your beds, bathroom and kitchen done first because you need those the most. Focus on getting stuff in its rightful place and then circle back to handle the finer organization after you’ve lived in the home a bit.
  • Manually update your address on your bills: the USPS will forward your mail for you, but you still need to login to your various systems and update your address: Amazon, your bank, your credit cards, chewy.com, human resources at work, student loans, the DMV, your retirement accounts, health insurance, doctor’s office. I wait until I have possession of the house to do this step because I once had a rental fall through just days before I was scheduled to move and I have a little trauma around it.
  • Call insurance: Make sure that your car and home insurance gets updated. This is super important to make sure you’re protected.
  • Return your boxes (if you rented them).
  • Clean your old home: a move-out cleaning is a true luxury that we couldn’t afford this time, so we broke our backs to get our old house shining to get our security deposit back. We got it back 100% but whew that was a tough day. My arms were so sore I seriously thought I had injured myself!
  • Schedule a one-time trash pick-up: Your waste management company will typically do a one-time pick-up for free to collect the inevitable trash that piles up with a move. I still need to schedule this, but we need it. We have a big pile in our garage that needs attention. Our bunk beds were broken in the move beyond repair (our fault, not the mover’s) so we need a pick up bad so we can actually start parking in the garage.
  • Say thanks/leave reviews: If you found a service you liked, take the time to leave a positive review. I am planning to review our movers and the box rental company because they were just so awesome. These small businesses live and die by their yelp and google reviews, so taking the time to leave a thoughtful review is a huge help. I also like to personally thank ANYONE who helped us during the move via a heartfelt text or even a written note. We had amazing friends who brought us pizza while we were in the middle of painting and it was a gift from the heavens. It truly takes a village to pull off picking up your life and moving it somewhere new.

WOW!!! that was a MONSTER post. Apparently, I have a lot of moving thoughts. I’m so thankful I captured all of this here for posterity.

Do you have anything to add? I’d love to know!

Style

The shorts of the Summer

June 24, 2020

At some point early in quarantine when I put myself on a serious shopping hiatus, I just so happened to check my promotions folder on my email and came across a note from Universal Standard with a ‘mystery offer’. Do you ever click those? Everytime I have in the past, the mystery offer has been piddly but this time I just knew it was going to be $50. I just knew it!

I clicked over to the site and I immediately added a pair of biker shorts to cart. At that time, they were $55 (now $65). I didn’t even really think about it. I pasted the promo code into my browser and there it was: $50 off. Can you believe it!? I still get that giddy feeling when I think about that moment and my $5 shorts.

The shorts arrived and I put them on my body and I swear to the good lord that I have never felt something so soft and sweet and buttery. I immediately declared them the shorts of the Summer. I wasn’t wrong. I reach for those shorts the moment they come from the wash and they are, hands down, the most comfortable piece of clothing I own right now.

I laugh a little bit because, honestly, these shorts are fugly. I distinctly remember when I saw my first instagrammer wearing them last year. Ewwww. Who wants to wear something so unflattering? I swore up and down that I would never be caught dead in a pair, which is what I say about basically every fashion trend I notice and then, a few months later, there I am rocking it with my bad self. It’s like a fashion amnesia. It’s not that I suddenly think these shorts are the most flattering, cute shorts ever. It’s just that they feel SO great that the comfort exceeds the fashion. Lately, I have no patience for clothes that aren’t comfortable. Function over form, especially this Summer while we’re still at home.

I feel happy to have the opportunity to share size-inclusive Universal Standard with you all here. I am a longtime fan whose love was rekindled via a $50 coupon offer. I have the Geneva dress, which is just about the most perfect dress I’ve ever owned. I know that it’s a bit spendy on the site, but it’s clothes I feel good in and also feel good about supporting. My goal is to make more purchases like that. I think I’d rather have fewer clothes that are made well and ethically than a closet full of more affordable clothes with questionable origins. Universal Standard doesn’t champion a sustainability message at this time, but they are radically committed to inclusivity with their brand. If you want to try them out, leave a comment below and I’ll contact you via email with an offer through their referral program where you’ll get a FREE t-shirt and I will get $25. I have three offers to share.

If you’re not able to spend $65 on a pair of shorts right now, trust me, I understand. I also researched an option on Amazon that’s more affordable because I want you to enjoy the magical Shorts of the Summer. These bad boys are just $20.99 and are a really great value for the price. I have a pair of the 5 inch shorts that I’ve been wearing around the house lately. They’re not as buttery and cloud-like as the Universal Standard option, but they are perfectly great for a third of the price.

What do you think of the biker shorts trend? Are they the shorts of the Summer for you? Let me know!