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beauty, deep thoughts

An attitude of gratitude: how journaling and meditating in the morning is improving my life

March 8, 2019

picture of a gratitude journal

For the first time in my life, I actually filled in every page of a journal with my thoughts. A complete journal! I am also meditating (in my own way) with consistency for the first time ever and it really has really improved my life in measurable ways.

I’ve always liked the idea of journaling and meditating, but I would always enthusiastically start and then lose interest and peter out after a few days. There are a few things that made all of the difference for me that I would love to share with you.

  1. I connected the activity to a higher purpose. I used to get really down on myself if I didn’t follow through with resolutions or goals I made for myself, but then I had a major AHAH moment where I realized that the majority of my goals were extrinsically motivated. Another way of saying that? I didn’t actually care that much if I did them! I liked the idea of doing these goals (like working out, writing in a journal or keeping my closet organized), but I didn’t care deeply enough about the benefit of those habits to go through the pain of making them stick in my life. With my journaling and meditating activity, I had finally reached a place personally where I wanted to feel better inside and was motivated to make a change in my habits to feel better. My brain was a bit of a magnet for worry, so I was spending a lot of my life ‘in my head’ worried about the future and totally taking my current reality (which is really awesome!) for granted.  I listen to a spiritual teacher who really encourages what she calls a ‘list of positive aspects’ and meditation as a central part of raising your energetic vibration, so I figured I would give it a shot with a hope that it would help me feel better inside most of the time.
  2. I made it part of my routine. I’m sure you’ve read the research that talks about how important routine is to making habits stick. I decided I wanted to start my days off on a better, less frantic note, so I started getting up around 6:45 and meditating and gratitude journaling. I spend about an hour every morning in this practice and I’m here to tell you that this hour is the most treasured time in my day. I’ve never been a morning person. I still have to rip myself from the bed in the morning, but once I’m up and I have my coffee, I absolutely love the process.
  3. I did it my way. I’ve tried meditating all sorts of ways, but the thing that seems to work for me is to use a guided meditation. I’ve heard the one I listen to so many times that I literally have it memorized, but I find it soothing and it lulls me into quieting my brain for just a few moments. I’ve found that’s all I need. I also welcome my dogs into my meditation with me. I swear my dog Boomer really loves meditating and cuddling, so he will always join me on the couch for meditation. The other dog joins us sporadically, but he is on his own spiritual journey and I try not to pressure him. 😉 So, I listen to this guided meditation and I drink my coffee and I cuddle my dogs. Is this ‘real’ meditation? I don’t know! Most people would probably say that I am not doing it right, but I would tell those people to eff off. I feel SO much better after those ten minutes. I feel reconnected to my own soul and nurtured and loved in the deepest way. There is probably nothing on this earth I love more than my dogs (my partner Keith is loved equally) so I love starting my day this way. After meditating, I move onto my list of positive aspects. I just free write things I am thankful for. There is no page commitment. Sometimes I write pages and pages and sometimes I just write ‘I am thankful for myself’. I’m not saying it makes sense, but it makes me happy.
  4. I am SUPER flexible. Some mornings I am really tired and I decide to sleep in. Some mornings I really get in the flow and spend even more time journaling. Sometimes I am stressed at work and decide to step away and listen to the meditation and journal in a conference room for a bit to raise my vibration and stop negative thought patterns. Sometimes I’m a little bit over the process and skip it. I am a sagittarius, so I guess I don’t like hard and rigid rules that much. I just try to focus on the fact that it makes me feel good, almost immediately. That’s what keeps me coming back again and again. I also carry it with me everywhere I go. You never know when you might feel inspired to write something!

I’m usually a pretty happy person, but there is definitely a place in the back of my brain that feels like a deep, deep well of sadness. If I’m not careful, I can get drawn into that well and spiral into a dark place that makes it hard for me to feel positive and happy. I think most people feel the same. The flipside to that ability to feel deep sadness is an equal ability to feel happiness so deeply that it makes me want to cry with joy. A beautiful view or a sweet cuddle from my dog or a great song can cut me to my core with the deepest, soul-shaking happiness. I love that about myself. As I grow older, I am realizing that I am responsible for taking care of my own self and for doing the activities that help me tap into my sensitivity to the beautiful parts of life. They are so, so easy to access with just a little bit of effort. Journaling and meditating open the pathway to that happiness for me, so I stubbornly make room for them almost every day of my life.

Do you like meditating??? Any other tips or tricks for me? Let’s not keep secrets with this life-changing stuff, friends. I would love to hear from you.

beauty, fashion, goals

Contemplating the Everlane High Rise Skinny Jean

February 18, 2019

everlane-jeans-review-size-14-3-640x960

I’d like to take a moment to honor the madewell distressed black high rise button fly jeans that I wore at least once a week for an entire year. They have left this earth to meet their maker after I aggressively squatted in them to pack my suitcase and ripped them at the crotch. We had a good run and they are missed dearly. RIP.

I like Madewell, but I think their prices are a little ridic and it’s hard for me to find jeans from them that aren’t ripped/distressed so much that I can wear them to work. I’m not wanting to spend $140 on a pair of jeans right now, so I’m thinking the time is right for me to try Everlane’s denim. It’s gotten pretty rave reviews and I’m about to pull the trigger.  I’ve been a day 1 Everlane fan and I’m happy that they’re finally getting a little more inclusive in their sizing. They still have a long, long way to go, though. I also think that some of their recent releases have had me scratching my head, but I think I’m just an old now at 33 and don’t get what the kids like wearing anymore.

At any rate, I have to say that Alison Gary from Wardrobe Oxygen is wearing the heck out of those jeans in the photo above. I’m really hovering above the ‘add to bag’ button right now thanks to her.

Anyone tried the Everlane denim yet? Is it damn good???

image via. 

beauty, goals, home

The most beautiful home I could ever imagine…

February 12, 2019

the most beautiful house ever

Okay, I know that I get over-excited about things, but I just need to tell you in all caps to GO CHECK OUT THIS HOME TOUR if you care even one little iota about home design. They won’t let me pull down photos to share in this space, so I literally had to screen grab the above photo to intro this post and entice you to click through. I’m the biggest plant lady ever, so that photo of the plants framing the door is one of the prettiest things to me, ever. Can you imagine what it would be like to walk out that door to the beautiful outside space? My heart literally beats with joy just thinking about it and I am so weirdly thankful for the opportunity to see this home from Australia with my own eyes.

I know, I’m a total freak. I love interior design so much. I have never felt about an interior space as much as I feel for this space. It is just so layered, so imbibed with texture and nuance, so exceedingly well-appointed and yet so incredibly livable. This is what I want for my own home. I am coming up quite short these days, but this is the goal. Just knowing it exists out there makes me happy.

This quote from the article spoke to me because it illustrates for me how it can take time to manifest our heart’s desires:

Mardi came across the building almost twenty years ago when walking around the area with her eldest daughter Mia (now 20) in her stroller. ‘I was enamoured with it at the time, and knew that I definitely wanted to live here someday.’  The stars aligned as the apartment became available at just the moment Mardi was looking.

The apartment became available at just the moment she was looking. Just the moment!!

One last note that I have to make: I never knew that my heart would stir over a collection of vintage mushrooms. I know that it’s probably a super valuable collector’s item that I know nothing about, but I can just imagine her FREAKING OUT when she found another mushroom for her collection over the years. They probably just sat in a storage closet or random area of her previous home. She probably had a little thrill at herself every time she bought another mushroom, wondering why she felt this weird compulsion to keep buying vintage mushrooms. As her collection grew, she probably had friends looking at her weird but she just carried on, knowing that someday her mushrooms would find their perfect home. Don’t those mushrooms just look like they were meant to be in this home? I couldn’t imagine the space without them.

Do you ever get so juiced off of something that you rush to your computer to share it with your internet friends? That’s what I do basically every day here in this space. If you have something you love that you want to share with someone just because you love it, consider this a written invitation to share in the comments.

Image via.